Don't Let Fear Control Your Destiny

Do you believe that fear has become one of the important factors which has started influencing all important decisions of your life and thereby limiting your growth prospects and ruining happiness

in life? If this is the case, it is high time that we start acknowledging and working towards overcoming this shortcoming in our personality.

Fear makes inroads in our life from early childhood days

Have you ever wondered that as a child our biggest fear is of losing our parents? We pray to God for long life of our parents. One of the reasons for this fear is of course our love towards our parents. And other reason may be is our insecurity. We know that we are small and cannot take care of ourselves. We need parents to take care of our fooding, clothing, shelter, education and above all requirement for love and affection.

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Society plays an important role in shaping our responses to fear

Our personalities are not only shaped by our parents, but our teachers, friends, classmates, relatives, elders and social media also have a deep influence in our lives. Human beings are good copy cats. Though they have brains of their own, but very few of them actually devote time and mind to make an opinion about what is actually right and what is wrong. Most of the times, we accept things the way they are around us without questioning its sanctity.

We see that when people fail in their efforts, by and large society makes fun of them, discourages them from giving it another try, and have an inferiority feeling towards people who fail in their ventures. On the other hand, successful people are treated like real life superstars. Society only remembers their successes forgetting the consistent failures they had to overcome before becoming successful.

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At the same time, the moment successful people start failing, society promptly starts criticizing these people also. So the trend is to put you on top of the world till the time you are succeeding and the moment you start failing, throw you off from the top.

This is more visible in case of politicians, sports persons and film stars. At no point of time is there a realization as to the amount of effort and hard work that has gone on for years to make a person actually succeed in life. Can you take away the credit of lifelong fighting spirit of a person based on failures in life for a short period of time?

How fear starts controlling our decision making process

As we grow older, fear of failure and the reaction of people who matter for us starts affecting our decision making process in a big way. Instead of putting efforts and stretching ourselves to achieve higher growth and targets in life, we start downsizing our goals and expectations from life so that we don’t fail in life.

The first thing we do is dump our creativity, passion and our area of interest in life. Instead we opt for a course in college that is going to give a job with steady income in life. We simply hate the feeling of insecurity that comes from economic uncertainty. So in order to overcome our fear of insecurity, we opt to make a safe career as an employee of a large corporation instead of opting being self employed as a professional. As a self employed Professional, we would have been our own Boss nurturing our talent and leading an independent professional life free from fear of losing our job.

“To escape fear, you have to go through it, not around” by Richie Norton

But to satisfy short term fears, we compromised on our long term growth. Moreover, in the long term, we will always remain in the grip of fear of losing our job because we never learnt how to earn money independently.

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If we could overcome the desire for a secure life, we could even have opted for a career as an entrepreneur or a business owner. As entrepreneurs, we have the option of using talents and expertise of others who could be employees; self employed professionals, other business owners or investors.

Successful businesses are run by people who demonstrate great leadership qualities and who develop such systems and processes that professionals run their businesses. This helps businessmen spending more time on thinking and expanding their businesses with the help of their teams. Ultimately they are able to not only secure their life but also have the satisfaction of giving employment to so many people.

Fear casts its shadow in all walks of life

Fear can affect your personality in many ways. If you are an introvert, fear of rejection stops you from networking and making new friends. It stops you from seeking help from others when you are in need. This way you lose opportunities even when someone could have helped you out.

“Fear is a habit, so is self-pity, defeat, anxiety, despair, hopelessness and resignation. You can eliminate all these negative habits with two simple resolves, “I can! and I will!”.” By Unknown

We all need to carry out negotiations at different points of time. It could be while buying a property, seeking salaries or better profiles in interviews, fixing marriages for children, purchasing costly items etc. Those who fear that others may laugh at their proposals will ultimately get dictated by other person’s terms and conditions.

Fear of society and loneliness in life are the main reasons for a lot of women to not to protest and ultimately carry on with their miserable married lives.

Because of fear of loneliness in life, lot of elderly people continue living with their children even after suffering humiliation at the hand of children.

Fear of disappointing others or getting yourself disappointed stops you from taking risks in life and dumping those decisions which you would otherwise have taken as a logical and rational person.

Number of failures will always be more than the successes in life

The belief that compromising on our values, avoiding challenges or lowering down our targets and expectations from life will give us a safe, secure and fulfilling life is not correct.

Life will keep on throwing challenges at us. We cannot avoid that. We need to overpower the Demon of Fear of Failure that has taken control of our Mind. We need to throw this Demon out of our Mind.

What we fail is to understand is that number of failure will always be more than the number of successes in life. There will be so many attempts and so many failures before we ultimately succeed. This is how life works. But if we start believing that earlier failures are the Final destinations in life, then we will lose the Will Power to carry on the battle of challenges in life ultimately losing out in life. Success will always remain the final destination and Failures are just halting places in the journey of life. 

“Our greatest weakness lies in giving up. The most certain way to succeed is always to try just one more time” by Thomas A. Edison

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